Q: Dear PPP, my girlfriend is kind of bitchy right now…how do I know if she’s….how do I put this– on the rag?
–Scared For My Penis
A: Dear SFMP,
There are some pretty simple telltale signs your chiquita banana is bleeding profusely from the babyhole:
1. She orders a porno before you get home from work, and then in a fit of emotion cancels it and switches to Lifetime.
2. She keeps mentioning astrology.
3. She frames an inordinate amount of totally useless, uninteresting pictures of either half your face or a reflection of hers in a London shop window. I mean, seriously….that’s kind of weird that she took them in the first place– why didn’t you throw them away, retard?
And don’t forget– knock knock– who’s there? My nasty-ass advice, ya bitch!
Send your queries to:
pattypattyprincess@gmail.com
2 Comments
March 11, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Is this supposed to be funny?
March 12, 2008 at 5:49 pm
How can you not think that was funny? F’ing hilarious if you ask me.